Why I'll Never Have a 6-Pack in Sweden

Well, there are many reasons, but this Pistaschbulle is certainly one of them. Bullar is a Swedish pastry similar to a cinnamon bun. The Pistaschbulle has a center of pistachio-flavored/colored custard. Very snacky! There are other tempting morsels in the Swedish dessert arsenal with which I will taunt you in the future.

Now, in Sweden, these bullar delectables are usually consumed during fika. Fika is like a social coffee break. It is also a verb, as in "to fika" - to take a coffee break and consume goodness. Not being a coffee drinker, I may be missing out on the fringe benefits of this fika thing. But, I can have only so many vices. Maybe I can get away with substituting hot chocolate (or tea) for coffee? To fika or not to fika...that is the question.

Yotaheads

Over the years, I've photographed my fair share of graffiti from around the world. I'm drawn to the visual representation of someone's personal, political and/or artistic statement, especially if expressed with a good dose of humor. Not so much into tagger text. But, a whimsical figure will catch my eye every time. So, imagine my excitement when I spotted these objects d'art on some of the building in my neighborhood. I call them Yotaheads; this is a play on how you pronounce Goteborg. The "G" sounds like a "Y" and the "e" sounds like "eh" - thus, "Yota."

In actuality, I have no idea what these Yotaheads represent. Are they derogatory? I hope not. They are fairly consistent in appearance. Are they created by the same person? Possibly. I've only found them in my neighborhood Rosenlund. Are they found in other parts of the city or elsewhere in Sweden? I will have to walkabout a bit further to determine this. But, in other graffiti-rich parts of town, they are absent from the spray-painted landscape. In Stockholm, I did not see them either.

If anyone knows what the Yotaheads are, please let me know. Perhaps, the Swedish version of Kilroy Was Here? I love a good mystery. In the meantime, I'll keep looking for Yotaheads and posting images as I discover them.

Hundar

Upon opening an email the other night, we were pleasantly surprised to see a photo of these two not-so-sad doogles. Our friend, Brian, was kind enough to send this to me.

We would like to thank Brian, Wayne and Maria for each taking time to visit Zoey and Lily while they wait out their days in puppy gulag.

We're still not quite sure what or who the girls were looking at when the photo was taken, but they look good. And that's what really counts. They are in LA, after all.

So, an update. Although the girls had their blood drawn on the 26th, we've been informed that the results of the rabies test will not be back before at least the 15th of April. Thus, they won't arrive until at least the 20th.

That sad and depressing bit of news just makes me wonder where they are sending these blood samples that they take so long to process. I mean shouldn't they have some sort of home pregnancy test for rabies: reliable, accurate and FAST. One would think. But, I must not think evil thoughts about the inefficiency of the dog relocation company. That is, until the dogs are safely in Sweden.

And, yes, hundar is the Swedish words for dogs. I am slowly learning Swedish. Truth be told, a month ago, I started an intensive course in Swedish, but stopped going a little more than half-way through. Both the instruction and textbook were in Swedish. Yes, the teachers would answer questions as well as speak in English. Still, it was tough going for me. Admitting defeat is never easy - kind of like being a beauty school dropout. Eh, Frenchy.

Well, I dusted off my pride (which was gathering dust in the closet) and started a new class with TJ. Once a week. One instructor. Slower pace, our pace. Better results. Who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks? I'm sure Lily and I can trade stories once she gets here.

Eurovision Blast from the Past

Winners of the 1973 Eurovision Contest:



Having the time of your life? Then, check this out.

New Music: Europop Goes the Weasel!

Remember back in the day when "bad" meant "good?" When it comes to some of the music from Europe, sometimes bad really is bad. And sometimes, it is so bad, it's actually good (deliciously so). The latter is reserved for what I call cheesy europop. You've heard it before: dramatic orchestral segments, hand claps, yodeling, cheering, sing-a-long choruses, and polka-esque interludes.

And now we can segue into some of my musical selections based upon listening to our new favorite Swede radio station - RIX FM, dancing to songs from Sweden's 2008 Melodifestivalen, and tirelessly scanning the Internet. All for your benefit.

Side Note: RIX FM has a show called the MorronZoo, Swedish for Morning Zoo. Of course, to our trained ears, it sounds like moron zoo. Which, I'm sure, is a lovely place to visit. But, please don't feed them.

Now, as I explained in a previous post, none of these songs are available on the US iTunes store. So, for all intents and purposes, you probably won't be able to purchase them any time soon. But, luckily, there is YouTube which has videos of all the songs mentioned below; most are live performances. The link for the song title goes to a video, while the link for the artist's name goes to an informational website.

Melodifestivalen 2008 Contestants

• Hero - Charlotte Perrelli [The winner of Melodifestivalen 2008; this song will represent Sweden in the Eurovision Contest. The beginning is kind of uninspiring, but the chorus is truly something to behold. It really makes you want to sing along at the top of your lungs. Well, I do. Still, not my favorite.]
• Lay Your Love on Me - BWO [The lyrics are just hilarious. But, you'll be shimmying your shoulders in no time. Very Eastern European. Love it!]
• Just a Minute - Rongedal [My favorite of all I heard. Had so much fun dancing to this. Think bastard love child of Mika and the Scissor Sisters.]

Swedish Idol Contestants

• If Only You - Danny (ft. Therese) [Sounds like a Summer romance song, European style. High swaying quotient]
• Brother Oh Brother - Mans Zelmerlow [At first, we thought this was Enrique; he rules the airwaves here. But, no, not quite. Fun, in the same vein - the Swedish Enrique!]
• Do You Love Me - Amanda Jenssen [Okay, the studio version sounds so much better. Still, love the voice. I think I do love her....well, not in that way. This I know.]

Miscellaneous Europopsters

• Voyage, Voyage - Kate Ryan [I liked one of Kate's previous songs (Je T'Adore), so I think this one may grow on me. My main problem with it is the repetition. Voyage sounds good once, but repeated twice is a little irritating.]
• Lollipop - Mika [But, what is he really trying to say? Oh that silly Mika.]
• Miss Blue - Vincent [At first, I thought the lyrics were "I'm psycho on you" but I've since been proven wrong. Yeah, "I'm stuck on you" is logical, but when has that ever stoped me. Regardless, this is a great "get in your car and drive with the windows down" song. I have to wait a few months for that, but still, I like the concept. Oh, and you should to be tapping your toes as well.]
• We Keep on Rockin - Alcazar [My favorite new song. D-I-S-C-O! There is a true Xanadu moment in the song around 2:20. And, um, the leather pants in the video. Hey now, hey now.]

Next time, maybe just a list of songs. :)

Parting Shots [from Stockholm]

Stockholm is a very colorful city. Certainly with respect to the architecture. But also with the people.

On Saturday night, our group ventured out to a club that played throbbing techno dance music in one part. The other part of the club played songs from the Melodifestivalen competition. The winner of this contest represents Sweden in the Eurovision song contest. A surprising number of the songs are sung in English. And everyone was singing along and emoting (oh my) to the songs. Even as they were played for the 4th or 5th time. Of course, the amount of spirits consumed may have had something to do with that. Nonetheless, this is serious stuff. We could only observe for so long before we joined in. Okay, in actuality, TJ dragged us off the techno dance floor and out into the midst of reveling euro pop-tarts.

Most of the songs are eminently danceable. Lyrically, some are good, some are bad, and some are truly awful. I think the word "cheese" might apply. Sample lyrics to one song below:

We can dance all night with the bourgeoisie
Lay your love on me
Take a chance on me, take the liberty
Lay your love on me

The winner is a dramatic diva-esque tune called Hero. Someone (he who shall remain nameless, but has two letters in his name) likes this song. So I have no alternative, but to purchase it on iTunes Sweden. Should anyone else want to hear this fine example of europop at its, er, best, let me know. :)

Kall, Kall, Kall

Annie Lennox didn't know the half of it. Stockholm was cold, cold, cold this past holiday weekend. As such, all did not go as planned. The "wandering about, sightseeing, and taking pictures for 4 to 5 hours a day" part got shortened considerably. The main reason being that the air temperature in conjunction with the wind was appreciably lower than my supposedly well-swaddled body. It was just plain bitter. That's what 10 years living in Southern California will do to you. As Ah-nold might say, "it thins your skin like a little girly man." Yep, that pretty much sums it up. Luckily Swedes enjoy their saunas. Oh yeah, 60 degrees Celsius warmed up this thin-skinned SoCal transplant just fine.

I did manage to see a few sights and take a few photos. An interesting and beautiful part of the city is Gamla Stan ("old town"), which is located on a small island. The top image was taken from the relative comfort inside Storkyrkan, the oldest church in Stockholm. The bottom image is the changing of the guard ceremony outside the Royal Palace.

It was sunny most of our stay, but we left as the snow began to fall. The trip back was a bit hairy as we drove through several heavy snowstorms. Winter has reasserted itself here in Sweden.

Tasty Treats and Squeezable Food

I alluded to the fact that Swedes have a sweet tooth. And I can firmly attest that they do. And, I am in big trouble because of it.

Just look at the candy display in our local Hemkop grocery store! The photo doesn't show it, but the display wraps around the corner to the right. And, there are two other free-standing candy displays located in other parts of the store. Now, I wouldn't make such a big thing of this fit these displays were not in every single grocery and convenience store. You cannot get away from this stuff. Which is why I'm in big trouble. I like sweets...and I'm weak.

It started out innocent enough. Originally, TJ started buying yogurt-coated fruits and nuts in a bag labeled Tasty Treats (hence the moniker). Slowly, some chocolate-coated items were included. Then, we started sampling from the super-sized candy bins. Now, we only seem to stop at these bins.

Luckily for us, some of the candy is just god-awful. Lots of marshmallow coated strangeness. Oddly-colored, rubbery gelatin pieces. Licorice that tastes like medicine. Will power. I've given up donuts before. I can rise above this too. Besides, the pastries here are pretty damn tasty.

One thing I will have no trouble resisting is squeezable food. I like my toothpaste in a tube, but I draw the line there. This packaging concept is so far beyond squeezable grape jelly, it's in its own league.

Some of the spreadable digestibles include mushrooms, cheese with herbs, blue cheese with whiskey (cleanse the palette and catch a buzz, all in one dollop), shrimp, ham, peppers, bacon, and caviar. There are other tubes whose food images do not provide easy identification. I'll bring the dictionary to the store next time because I want to know what some of this gunk is. Damn my unending curiosity! You know it's only a matter of time before I try this stuff. Don't worry, you'll get a full report. Can't be any worse than Vegemite.

Surrogate Doogles

An update on our dogs, Zoey and Lily. They are still awaiting their release from puppy gulag near LAX. On March 26th, their blood will be drawn and tested for rabies. Once the results come back, they will be on their way to us here in Goteborg. Arrival is estimated for the second week in April. We miss them a lot.

In their place, we have these two surrogates. Yes, I bought these two plush toys. But, TJ was an enabler. They are dog toys bargain-shopped during the post holiday sales frenzy at Old Navy. Dogs toys. And I didn't even give them to Zoey and Lily. Bad dog owner. But, I have a weakness for design that is "cute." And our dogs must suffer because of it. I admit to owning a Domo-kun plush toy too. Is that so wrong?

Parting Shot [from Smogen]

Saw this playground slide as we were leaving town. If you cannot tell, it is a tube of caviar. How odd, you say? Well, not in Sweden. Food in a tube is quite common. I have seen lobster, caviar, ham, cheese, and other unidentifiable meats - all in a squeezable tube. Apparently, there is one containing both ham and cheese. Imagine! It reminds me of the 70's when I first saw a jar of Goobers [thanks, Google] that contained both peanut butter and jelly. I was aghast. Our handbook (yes, we were given a Welcome to Western Sweden handbook) says that part of our expat experience will never be complete until we truly believe that "eating ham and cheese together in one easy spreadable tube is lunch." Maybe, but I'm still trying to figure out the appeal of fish balls.

Weekender

This is Smogen. Well, a very small part of Smogen. But, you get the picture. A cute seaside fishing town set amongst glacier-scoured, barren, rocky cliffs and shorelines. Smogen is about 140km North of Goteborg. A easy drive for a sunny, lazy Saturday afternoon. Apparently, Smogen is the place to be in the Summer. In March, it's half-awake. We did find a nice deli and ordered a tasty little sandwich filled with shrimp, dill sauce, and lettuce that looked like seaweed. Alas, no picture. Next time! Also in the sandwich were what I believe to be breaded fish fillets [four in all]. I am stating fish, though it remains unclear. There was no sign for the sandwich and we didn't ask. Bought it on sight alone. As we were eating it, I kept asking TJ if he knew what it was. Neither the texture nor the smell gave its true identity away. Still, we were in a fish market-slash-deli. It had to be fish, right? Also found a small store where TJ was able to procure a reasonably-priced Diet Coke and some tasty treats. A picture of said tasty treats will be forthcoming. Suffice it to say, Swedes have a sweet tooth.

IKEA Living

In the last post, I alluded to our barren apartment. Why so barren? Well, our suitcases were filled to capacity when we flew over. Included was a queen-size air mattress [no jokes]. There was a 650 lb. air shipment that followed a week (or so) later. With that came computer equipment, one desk chair, a folding table, induction cookware, more clothes, toiletries, and an ironing board. And that was pretty much it.

So, as I said, the apartment is pretty bare. What better excuse to go shopping. The montage above shows some of our purchases, mainly from IKEA and IKEA-like stores. By that, I mean, stores that sell functional and aesthetic furniture. We did actually need most of this stuff. Especially the lamps - since we could not bring ours over (US vs. European voltage). The rug? I have a hard time keeping TJ out of rug stores. But, this is a very FUN rug. And it goes with our other furniture. You know, the stuff that isn't here yet.

The bulk of our belongings are sailing across the Atlantic in a 40 ft. container. Delivery is scheduled for next week. TJ's colleagues describe it as being like Christmas - a day of unpacking boxes filled with surprises. I like Christmas. So....don't hit an iceberg oh mighty container ship carrying our goods.

Cute Swedonia

How cute are these salt and pepper shakers?!? A surprise gift from TJ. Of course, there's a story. Last weekend, we stayed in town after venturing to Copenhagen and Oslo the previous two weekends. It was raining. Typical. I was working (on my Dad's website). TJ was....bored. He kept pacing around our barren apartment - walked into the office, looked at me, saw I was busy, got a sad little boy look on his face. He wanted me to go with him and find a replacement wine glass. A few weeks back, he had bought a set of glasses, but one had broken. I sent him out alone. He came back with these ceramic shakers. Adorable. TJ and the set of shakers.

Of course, later I noticed something odd. On my way downstairs, the complete set of wine glasses was sitting on the windowsill. But, in the kitchen, there sat another set of wine glasses. Yep, he couldn't resist just buying one to complete the set, he bought a whole new set as well. But, who was I to get complain? Look at these guys...cute!

Ett, Tva, Tre....

And, we're here in Goteborg! I suppose you've guessed this by now. Okay, we've been here about a month. Does it feel like home yet? No, not yet. But, a routine has taken shape.

We have cell phones, a car (Volvo station wagon, of course), broadband Internet service, Skype service (so, call me), Swedish bank accounts and, most importantly, Swedish ID numbers. Yes, we're in the system. We've even joined the local gym - SATS.

Side Note: The interior and equipment at SATS reminds me of 24-Hour Fitness, maybe even Bally Total Fitness; the membership price is more like Equinox. More on prices in another post (they deserve their own).

Our first weekend here, we went shopping at IKEA. The stores really are the same all over the world. Ironic that shopping at IKEA in Sweden was the first activity that felt familiar. That reminded me of the US - home. But, now (fast forward four weeks), I have my favorite grocery store - ICA Maxi - so all is right in the shopping world!

Side Note: This blog will delve deeply into international cuisine. So, lots of prose and pix about desserts, unusual food items, and just plain old gastric goodness.

As you can tell, the computer is up and running. As such, email is up and running. If someone needs our phone or snail addresses, contact us via email and we'll disseminate.

This is the first of many posts. The photo? A view from our living room. TJ wanted me to Photoshop the unsightly part of our view. But, hey, this is going to be a warts and all adventure. The plant is Goteborg Energi which supplies the hot water that heats our apartment.